David woke up early Christmas morning. The sun was shinning brightly outside his window. He even let out a slight smile, only to replace it with a frown seconds later when he remembered what had happened. It was Christmas and he wasn’t spending it with the woman he loved. He sat down on the edge of the bed, reached over to his jacket, and pulled out a small box. The box was covered in rich red velvet and a gold opening. He slowly opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond encrusted ring. The diamond was square, not to big, and not to small, but just right. On either side of the diamond was a small garnet, her birthstone. The band was shiny silver. He lifted it up and looked at it closely. On the inside it was engraved. “A promise forever. I love you Jen – David.” It wasn’t an engagement ring, but a promise ring. He was going to give it to her on Christmas. He was going to promise her that he would always love her, always be true to her, always be there for her, and never hurt her. So far he had broken all those promises. He put the ring back in its box and just held it.

Jennifer didn’t wake up early that day. Once she had finally dragged herself out of bed, gone through her normal morning routine which consisted of throwing up, taking a shower, getting dressed, eating, and throwing up once more, see saw that there were 4 messages on her machine already. She ignored them. It was most likely people calling and saying “Merry Christmas.” There was nothing merry about it. That’s when the idea came into her head. She had to get away. Just for a little bit, she had to leave this place. The way it looked, they way it felt, even the way it smelt reminded her of David. Maybe if she got away, somewhere where there weren’t constant reminders of what she no longer had, maybe it would be easier. She was desperate at this point; she’d try anything to forget him. Upstairs in her room, she threw open her suitcase and started just throwing clothes in it. She didn’t care what she packed. She gathered her things from the bathroom, slid some sandals on, and went down stairs, rolling her suitcase behind her. Her purse was sitting where it always was, on the small table by the door. She made sure she had enough money with her, her passport, license, and anything else she would need. She turned the Christmas lights off and walked out of the house, not even glancing back. She locked the front door and made her way down to the driveway. Once everything was in the car, she got into the drivers seat. She adjusted the mirrors, turned the car on, put the radio on as an attempt to drown out her thoughts, and pulled out of her driveway. She was on her way to the airport, after she got there, she didn’t know where she was going to go. She parked her car in the overnight section, not knowing how long she’d be gone. She rolled her suitcase behind her and walked through the huge parking lot until she got to the entrance of the Los Angeles International Airport. She stopped just as she was about to walk in, took a deep breath, slowly let it out, and then continued in. Inside there were people rushing around. Couple, families, mother’s with their children, it was rather busy for Christmas morning. She made her way passed the crowds, pulling the hat on her head down farther as an attempt to hide herself. The line for Continental was long, and American was a little shorter, so she stood on that line. It moved pretty fast and she was up there before she knew it.

Attendant: hello Miss, how may I help you.

Jen: uh, what’s your next available flight?

Attendant: to where?

Jen: anywhere.

Attendant: (checking her computer) Cancun, Mexico.

Jen: anyplace in the US?

Attendant: we have a flight leaving for Seattle, Washington in an hour with seats still available.

Jen: I’ll take it. Just one way please.

Attendant: we have seats in first, business, and coach. Which would you prefer?

Jen: first please.

Attendant: window or aisle?

Jen: window.

Attendant: that comes to a total of $2,874.

Jen: alright.

She takes her credit card out of her purse and hands it to the lady.

Attendant: can I see some ID please?

Jen hands her her driver’s license. The lady checks it and hands it back, along with her credit card and flight information.

Jen: thank you.

Attendant: would you like to check your bag?

Jen: oh, yes please.

She hands her her suitcase and the lady puts the stickers on it and sends it on the belt with the other baggage.

Attendant: you’re all set Miss.

Jen: thank you.

She walked away from the desk. She looked down at her ticket. The plane left at 12:25, and it was already 11:45. she walked through the airport, she could feel people watching her, and she walked up to the terminal where her flight was. By the time she got through security and everything and got to the gate, the plane was already boarding. She got on and found her seat. She was seated next to a friendly looking man. She smiled at him and she got into her seat.

Man: oh my daughter is going to be to excited when I tell her who I sat next to on the plane.

Jen just smiled at him.

Man: she’s a huge fan of your show. She pretty much idolizes you.

Jen: well I do it for the fans.

Man: could I just bother you for your autograph, she would be so happy.

Jen: sure.

The man takes out a piece of paper and a pen, handing it to Jen.

Jen: what’s her name?

Man: Jennifer.

Jen: pretty name.

She signs the paper and hands it back to the man, along with the pen.

Man: thank you so much. She would have killed me if I hadn’t asked you. I’m sorry to have bothered you.

Jen: not at all.

The man goes back to reading a book and Jen just looks out of the window back at the airport. She’s not sure what she’s doing but she knows getting away is the right thing to do.

Courtney kept calling Jen’s house. It must have been the tenth time she called and still no one was picking up. She decided to call Lisa to see if she had gotten a hold of Jen. Lisa picked up the phone on the third ring.

Court: Lisa, hey, it’s Court.

Lisa: Merry Christmas!

Court: you too! Listen, I’ve been trying to reach Jen all morning and no ones picking up the phone. I’m starting to get worried.

Lisa: did you try her cell?

Court: it’s off.

Lisa: maybe you should drive over; make sure everything’s ok.

Court: yeah, I was thinking of that.

Lisa: I’ll go, my house is closer.

Court: you sure?

Lisa: yeah.

Court: thanks.

Lisa: no problem. I’ll call you when I get there.

Court: alright, bye.

Lisa: bye.

Lisa hung up the phone. She was still in her pajamas, but she didn’t care. She went outside to her car. Her main concern was making sure Jen was ok. She pulled up to the house. She saw Christmas lights hung, but they were turned off. There were no cars in the driveway, but she could have had the car in the garage. She walked up to the front steps and rang the doorbell. She could hear it echoing throughout the house but couldn’t hear anyone walking around. After about five minutes and after ringing the bell two more times, she got out her key chain to use her spare key. The house was dark inside and eerily empty. She wandered through out the whole house calling Jen’s name but getting no response. Just as she was about to pick up the kitchen phone to call Courtney, it rang. She jumped a bit then picked up the phone on the second ring.

Lisa: hello?

David: Lisa?

Lisa: David?

David: yeah. Uh, what are you doing there?

Lisa: well Courtney kept calling and Jen wasn’t picking up the phone so I came over to see if everything was ok.

David: and…?

Lisa: she’s not here.

David: what? She’s not there?

Lisa: I looked everywhere. She didn’t call anyone or anything to tell them where she was. Maybe she just went to the store.

David: yeah, maybe.

Lisa: oh hey, how come you were calling? I thought you two weren’t talking to each other.

David: well I wanted to wish her a Merry Christmas and I thought maybe we could try and work this whole thing out.

Lisa: aw! Well, if I hear from her I’ll let you know.

David: thanks. Don’t tell her I called though. I don’t think she likes me very much right now.

Lisa: she loves you, but you’re right, right now she’s a bit pissed.

David: I’d think so. Listen, I must go. Merry Christmas!

Lisa: you too.

They both hung up and Lisa picked up the phone again to call Courtney.

Lisa: Courtney, she’s not here.

Court: oh no. Where do you think she went?

Lisa: maybe she just went to the store.

Court: that’s true.

Lisa: we’ll call again tonight and come over later.

Court: alright.

Lisa: I just talked to David.

Court: really?

Lisa: yeah. Just as I was about to call you, he called.

Court: he called Jen?

Lisa: yeah. He said he was gonna wish her a Merry Christmas and try and see if they could work this all out.

Court: aw, that’s so sweet.

Lisa: I know. I hope they do, I can’t stand seeing Jen this miserable all the time.

Court: yeah, especially with her being pregnant and all.

Lisa: well, she’s not here so I’m going to leave. We’ll just keep calling. She should be home tonight.

Court: yeah, alright. Thanks for going over there.

Lisa: not a problem. I’ll talk to you later.

Court: ok. Bye.

Lisa: good bye.

She hung up the phone and headed back to the door. On the small table by the door was a framed picture of Jennifer and David smiling at the camera. She looked at it and smiled. She went out the door, making sure to lock it on her way out.

Jen checked into the W Hotel. Her room was big, with one double bed. The first thing she did once she got in the room was take a long hot shower. She wanted to try and erase all the pain and all the feelings she was trying to leave behind. She tried to block out any thoughts of anything or anyone back in Los Angeles. That night she decided to go for a walk. It was around 9pm and not many people were outside. Seeing as it was Christmas night, the streets were pretty empty. She walked around the hotel, letting the cool air chill her. She was finally almost completely relaxed until someone yelled her name and a bright white flash went off. The camera flashed a couple more times before she managed to turn the corner and walk away. Now that they had found her, she wouldn’t be free for the rest of the week. She went right back up to her hotel room. She let the noises of the television drown out her thoughts until she finally fell into a state of sleep.

Two days had passed and they still didn’t know where Jen was. That was until the never failing tabloids printed an article about her fleeing to Seattle. David was the first to come across it. He let the others know about it and their worries were finally put to rest. Jen also saw the article. She knew she had to call them, let them know she’s ok. She decided to call Courtney first cause she could just tell the others. She didn’t want to have to explain it a bunch of times. She sat on the edge of the bed and turned on her cell phone. She dialed Courtney’s number and waited for her to pick up. On the fourth ring, the phone was finally picked up. It wasn’t Courtney though, it was a man.

Man: hello?

Jen: uh, it Courtney there?

The man paused for a moment. He recognized the voice. He looked down at the caller ID. Jen’s name showed. He carefully spoke her name.

Man: Jen?

Jen soon recognized who it was. It was David. She hung up. The phone instantly rang again and again and again. After about ten minutes she finally picked it up. Her voice was shaky and she was crying. She didn’t speak, she just held the phone to her ear. David knew she had picked up, he could hear her faint breathing. He could tell she had been crying. He chose his words carefully, not wanting to mess anything up.

David: Jen….

She didn’t answer. He didn’t expect her to. He kept talking, taking her silence as an invitation to talk.

David: I know I’m not your favorite person in the world right now, but I need you to hear me out. I know I can’t make it up to you, what I did and all. I just want you know why I did what I did. When I first read it, I didn’t believe it. But then I got to thinking about it and what we had just previously talked about. The reason it so much was because I loved you. I loved you with all my heart. I still do. I couldn’t imagine you with anyone else. I couldn’t imagine anyone else having your heart. I was so caught up in that feeling that I failed to listen to you and realize that you would never do that.

Jen: well you did.

David: I know. I hurt you and I’m so sorry. If I could take it back I would.

Jen: well you can’t.

David: I know.

There’s a pause, neither of them knowing what to say.

David: so, how are you? With being pregnant and all.

Jen: not great.

David: what’s wrong?

Jen: I’m pregnant.

David: alright.

Jen: it’s a girl.

David: a girl! When did you find out?

Jen: a couple weeks ago.

David: oh. Wow, you always wanted a girl.

Jen: I know.

David: Jen, please….

Jen: I don’t know what you expect from me. You hurt me David. You hurt me more than anyone ever could. I can’t just forgive you like that. I’m not just gonna forget the pain you’ve put me through cause you’re sorry.

David: I know.

Jen: I have to go.

She hangs up the phone and throws it across the room. She went through the rest of the week without so much as a thought of David. She was focusing on other things, like becoming a mom for example. Everything suddenly began to look up. It wasn’t great, but it was better than before. The tabloids had finally seemed to be getting bored with just writing about her and David break-up and had moved on to other topics. She was feeling better. She felt alive again. The break had helped a lot and now she was read to go back. She had let David know how she felt and it helped. Now maybe she could move past it. She got on the next plane back to Los Angeles, unfortunately, right in time for Lisa’s New Years Eve party. She let Courtney and Lisa know when she had gotten back. She told them that she was feeling better, she didn’t mention that she had talked to David though. Lisa forced her to come to the party tonight, Courtney was nagging her too. She relentlessly agreed to go. She showed up to the part late. Everyone else had already been there for an hour or two. She was wearing a black knee length dress with spaghetti straps. Her stomach had a slight bump to it, but it was not very noticeable. Her hair was down, straight and shiny, just below her shoulders. She couldn’t believe she had actually agreed to come to this stupid party. But she knew if she didn’t come, Lisa and Courtney, and everyone else would just be even more suffocating. They were all always crowding her. Wondering if she was ok. Why should she be? The man she loved with all her heart had left her. The father of her baby was gone. Well, not gone, but certainly not with her. That’s why she had to get away. She dreaded coming back, cause she knew they would question her, but she hoped maybe this time, just this once, they would just let her be and accept it as something she had to do. She hated everyone’s pity. All their sympathetic looks. The only look she wanted was David’s smile to let her know that everything was okay, but she knew she would probably never have that again, not after what she had said on the phone. She was slowly walking around amongst the guests, half of which she didn’t even know, or at least didn’t even remember. She had a glass of water in her hand. She wanted so much to have some wine. No, she wanted vodka. All she wanted to do was go home and get drunk. She wanted to sit at home alone and drink all her problems away, but she couldn’t. She had to care for her baby now, it was the only thing left she had of David. She saw Matt in the corner talking to someone. When he saw her he gave her an apologetic smile. She didn’t do anything back. Her face stayed in the same expressionless state, which she had acquired that first night he had left her. She continued down the hall, almost in a daze. She didn’t care about anything anymore. She came to a sudden halt. There he was. He was standing here, leaning against a wall, talking to someone. She couldn’t see who it was since someone was in the way. But she saw him. She hadn’t seen him since that night. Her heart melted at the sight of him. He was smiling; laughing. A small smile crept across her face for the first time in a long time. Courtney could see her standing there from the other room. She took a step forward, as though to walk up to her, but decided against it. She saw who Jen was looking at, and for once she saw her happy. Jen was content for that second, though it seemed much longer. She suddenly felt warm inside, like she was alive again. But that soon went away, only to be replaced by the cold dead feeling she had grown so accustomed to. The person that was in her way before moved and she could see who David was talking to. It was a girl. A pretty girl. A thin, blonde, happy girl. The girl laughed at something David had said, and playfully touched his arm. He smiled at her. Jen’s smile fell. Courtney saw this. The glass in Jen’s hand fell, shattering to the floor in a million little pieces. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at where the crash had come from. David saw Jen standing there as she started to cry. No one moved, no one knew what to do. He took a step towards her and she turned and ran the other way. She ran to the front door, flung it open and ran out of the house. Courtney looked over at David, who was now standing there, not knowing what to do. She looked at the broken glass on the floor, and the open door that Jen had just ran out of. She walked to the door. Everyone was now watching her. She looked over at Lisa, who was in the living room, and saw it all. Lisa nodded, signaling to Courtney that she should follow after Jen. So she did. She walked out of the house. By the time she got to her car, Jen was already gone. By the time she made it to Jen’s house, it had been about 20 minutes. She knew Jen had been home way before she got there. Courtney pulled her car into the driveway and jumped out, running up the steps to the front door. The door was open. She went into the house, soon met with an eerie kind of feeling. Not one single light was on in the house, and it was completely silent. She knew Jen was here though. She had a hard time getting around the house in the dark, and she had no idea where to start looking. She heard glass shattering upstairs. She felt her way to the stairs and went up as fast as she could. She went slowly down the dark hall so she could try and hear any noise that might help her find Jen. Down at the end of the hall she could hear Jen faintly crying. She was in the bathroom. Courtney wasted no time getting there. She ran all the way to the end of the long hall. As she turned the corner into the bathroom, the sight in front of her sent chills down her spine. There she was, sitting on the edge of the tub. Her hair was wet, her face was sweaty and so pale. There was shattered glass everywhere. She rocked slowly. Her hand was slightly bleeding from punching the mirror. In her right hand there was a piece of glass, which she was holding precariously above her left wrist. She knew Courtney was standing there watching her. She could feel it. Courtney spoke softly.

Court: Jen….

Jennifer didn’t answer, but Courtney knew she was listening. So she stepped into the bathroom, the glass cracking under her shoes. She made her way over to Jen and sat down next to her on the edge of the tub.

Court: don’t do it Jen. It’s not worth it.

She knew Jen wouldn’t answer, but she knew she had to keep talking. She had to save her friend.

Court: it doesn’t have to turn out this way. It’s not to late to change it. It doesn’t have to be like this. It can get better.

Jen sat there completely still and completely silent. She let go of the piece of glass in her hand and it fell to the floor. Courtney took Jen’s hands in hers. Jen’s hands were freezing. She put her arm around her to try and sooth her. Jen was freezing. Her whole body was cold. There was a towel hanging from a hook so Courtney grabbed it and wrapped it around Jen in an attempt to get her to warm up. They sat there in silence for a minute until Courtney spoke once more.

Court: you don’t have to do this to yourself. You don’t have to deal with all the pain alone. We’re all here for you. We’ll all help you in whichever way we can. We love you. All you have to do it ask.

She rubbed Jen’s back, and she felt her finally relax a bit. Her face was still down, and she was staring at the floor. Courtney wiped some of the hair from Jen’s face out of the way. She sat there, holding her for a while. None of them spoke. Courtney knew this would take time, and she couldn’t force it upon her. She had to let her take it at her own speed. Ten minutes must have passed by before one of them spoke. This time it was Jen. Her voice was quiet, barely audible. She spoke slowly.

Jen: I don’t know what happened to me. I can’t deal with this anymore.

Court: you don’t have to go through it alone. We’re all right here by your side to help you. Just ask. That’s all you have to do. Just ask.

There was a brief silence.

Jen: help me.

Court: we will sweetie, we will.

They sat there, on the edge of the tub, hugging for quite a while. Jen knew now that everything would get better. It wouldn’t be okay again, and it wouldn’t get rid of all the pain she still felt, but it would be easier now that she had friends again. Friends that would be there for her. Friends that would help her get through this.